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One Car, Two Drivers

18 February 2010 1,109 views No Comment

Love.

Marriage.

Intimacy.

We Muslims know that we are unique in our perspectives when it comes to the topic of romance. Living in a world where western ideals are abundant and Muslims are already constituted as the minority, the superficial aspects of romance take precedence over the spiritual ones. This leaves Islam in its own category as Muslims are told to focus on the latter and not so much the former. Reserving the celebration of my love for my significant other for only one 12-hour day out of 365 days in the year (i.e. Valentine’s Day) is an insignificant action as opposed to showing my significant other how much I love him or her during all 365 days in that year. After all, our Creator’s concept of marriage allows for the unification of two souls so that they can permissibly engage in a relationship of romantic love, mutual partnership, and procreation for an unlimited amount of time.

This purpose of marriage sounds simple enough. However, in today’s day and age, this simple concept has managed to find ways to become twisted and corrupted by many individuals throughout the world, primarily those who focus on society’s ever-changing standards of love and marriage, and not Allah (Subhana wa Ta’ala)’s. Whether this is because they highly prize what their culture tells them of this matter or because they are lacking in the education of Islam, many Muslims abuse the concept of marriage and distort it from its originally beautiful form into a sometimes corrupt form (i.e. the “master and slave” form). Instead of allowing ourselves to be so contaminated with the worldliness of culture and society to the point that it is reflected in our behavior with our spouses, we should recognize the true purpose for which Allah (Subhana wa Ta’ala) created marriage for human beings and realize that there is no better example to follow than that of our Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, when it comes to helping ourselves be better spouses.

Marriage should be recognized as a connection between souls, instead of solely a simple merger between two individuals. Recall the Prophet, peace be upon him, once said, “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they do not get along with.” (Bukhari) Good people are inclined towards other good people, and evil people are similarly inclined with other evil people. Successful marriages usually occur when we marry those like ourselves. Thus, every Muslim has already met their mate’s soul in heaven. We can then say that marriage in this world is a reunion or a reconnection if you will, of these very souls. Thus, if one fails to truly connect with their spouse and to truly recognize this special connection, then they are also truly depriving themselves of achieving that true happiness that comes with the realization that they have found their “soul mate”.

In turn, learning how to be a better spouse also helps a Muslim to better worship Allah (Subhana wa Ta’ala). The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Whoever marries has completed half his faith, so let him have fear of Allah (Subhana wa Ta’ala) in the remaining half of his religion.” (Bukhari) Have we ever wondered as to why that is? The answer is simple. Upon marrying an individual, one sets out on the course of spending the rest of their life with that individual. However, as a Muslim, we must realize that just like us, the individual we have married has his or her own sets of rights, desires, and necessities as ordained by our Creator. As a result, we should spend the rest of our lives fulfilling these conditions as best as we can in order to ensure servitude to Allah (Subhana wa Ta’ala) and everlasting happiness for ourselves. The better we serve and take care of our spouse, the more we keep in accordance with the Commands of Allah (Subhana wa Ta’ala), the greater we are in worshipping Him. And since, usually, so many years of our lives are spent in marriage, a great bulk of our implementation of Islam lies in marriage and how well we fulfill the rights of our spouses.

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