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Top 10 Things You Need to Know About M♥rriage

18 February 2010 6,529 views No Comment

1. If your job gets all your energy, the marriage withers.

If your job gets all of your energy, then it becomes your spouse’s competition and no one wants that. Allah (Subhana wa Ta’ala) created marriage for us so that we can enjoy each other permissibly. Not only can this bring us pleasure but it can also lead us to being rewarded by Our Creator! Take advantage of this. It’s a source of reward and happiness so don’t turn it into a source of sin and despair.

2. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness.

Nothing says “I love you” like personal sacrifices. Selflessness immensely increases love between a married couple. Knowing that your spouse will give up his/her own pleasure for you should make you feel like the luckiest individual alive. Once you realize this, your love will increase and the selflessness then becomes mutual, thus fortifying the pillars of marriage to be even stronger than before.

3. It’s never too late to repair damaged trust.

Showing your spouse that you want to regain their trust shows him/her that they’re important to you and that you’re willing to work for your marriage. Repairing the broken trust between a couple allows them to focus solely on their marriage and to consider each other’s feelings. Working towards this goal together can increase the respect between spouses and strengthen the relationship.

4. The cost of a lie is higher than whatever you’re going to get from escaping it.

A lie always comes out in the end and whatever temporary escape you had from the truth will become meaningless. Lies can distort the image your spouse had of you. They can also sometimes show disrespect for the spouse. Mutual respect and trust serve as the foundations for marriage. If a crack appears in this foundation, then there is a crack in your marriage and no lie is worth that.

5. Expectations set up resentment.

Expect flaws, expect mistakes, and expect bad times. Don’t be a pessimist and expect this all the time, but don’t expect your spouse to be anything other than a human being liable to error and just as prone to make mistakes like you. Believing otherwise will just hurt you more than anyone else in the end.

6. Your opinion isn’t the truth.

Believing it to be such will show stubbornness and inconsideration of your partner’s feelings. Having a mutual openness for each other’s thoughts and feelings will not only increase respect between the two, it will also help you get along better and help to ensure a successful relationship.

7. If you think “you aren’t the person I married”, you’re right.

“During the engagement you see the best. After marriage, you see the rest.” Do yourself a favor and keep the interaction to a minimum during the engagement time. Prolonged interaction is what leads individuals to build up the idea of the other person. Without this interaction, you’ll just have the necessary qualifications of that person in mind, minus the unnecessary embellishment.

8. Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming.

Being authentic means being real. If your spouse sees that you’re genuine with them, it will increase the likelihood of them adopting that trait as well. And the more you allow yourself to be genuine in your behavior, the greater the chance that you will continue to do so, once you realize it’s part of the person you’ve allowed yourself to become.

9. There is violence in silence when it’s used as a weapon.

Not knowing what you’re thinking can lead your spouse to formulate their own ideas about what you’re feeling. Sometimes, their ideas are worse than what you’re actually feeling and this can lead to your spouse torturing themselves with those ideas while you continue to maintain your silence.

10. Never outgrow the need for romance.

It’s never too late to rekindle that spark. Not doing so can lead the marriage to grow “stale” and boring. Once this happens, you risk losing your partner’s interest so make it a priority to keep things “fresh” so that your relationship stays interesting and makes you feel as if the effort you put into it is worth it.

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